


It'll be worth the wait

by dreigiau



Series: A future worth fighting for [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/F, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27233374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreigiau/pseuds/dreigiau
Summary: Spoilers up to 2x113Following the fight on the Midnight Hammer the Nein take some time to rest - indulging in fireworks and hot chocolate. With the impending uncertainty of Eiselcross on their minds Yasha and Caleb have a little bit of a heart to heart.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Series: A future worth fighting for [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988308
Comments: 8
Kudos: 157





	It'll be worth the wait

After handing out the mugs of hot water, and dropping in the speckled stones, Caduceus had stepped back and watched happily as his friends’ looked on in wonder at the steaming hot chocolate that appeared in their mugs, marshmallows brimming around the top - the perfect reward for a hard day’s work. 

As the hot drinks warmed their bodies the Nein began to relax as the day drew to a close. 

Yasha found herself leaning against the side of the ship, mug clasped in her hands, her eyes focused on the last two remaining marshmallows in her drink. They had somehow drifted towards one another, and were now in the process of melding together. 

_You’re just a couple of marshmallows_

Yasha smiled softly at the memory of Jester’s words. 

“A copper for your thoughts?” 

Caleb’s voice brought Yasha from her reverie and she looked up as the wizard joined her peering over the side of the ship. 

The barbarian was silent in response, not sure how to answer his question, but it didn’t take long for Caleb to come to a conclusion on his own. 

“Ah” he nodded towards Yasha’s mug, the previous source of her intense gaze. “Marshmallows with wings, marshmallows with staffs, ja?” he quipped and Yasha’s brow furrowed in confusion. 

She hadn’t said anything to Caleb, had she? 

No, not that she could recall. 

“Jester” he quietly answered her unspoken thought, “She is not so subtle as you and I, hm?”

“Oh” Yasha nodded, bit her lip a little nervously. 

The human seemingly sensed Yasha’s hesitation to broach the topic and let silence fall between them. A comfortable silence. 

_We are the quiet ones, you and I_

A few moments passed, Yasha finally letting her eyes break away from the marshmallows and instead resting on the now calm seas beneath them. Just an hour ago she had been swimming freely through them, Beau (and Veth) on her back. Despite the urgency or their task it had been liberating to be in the water like that. 

A familiar laugh broke the silence and Yasha looked up as Caleb turned around, his back leaning against the side of the ship instead now. The barbarian followed his gaze, landing on the sight of Beau and Veth beginning to strap fireworks to the opposite side of the ship. 

A small smile formed on her lips as she too turned her body so that she could watch their friends. 

“Hey Veth, grab that big one!” Beau called out, pointed towards one of the dragon-head shaped fireworks currently strewn across the deck of the Midnight Hammer. 

“Oh! Great idea!” the Halfling replied with a huge grin on her face as she made her way over to her target.

Yasha’s eyes remained fixed on the monk, who must have sensed her gaze. 

Their eyes met. And the world stopped. 

And then Beau flashed a smile in Yasha’s direction and the barbarian’s heart skipped. 

“Ah, you are not so subtle either it would seem” Caleb chuckled beside her and Yasha swallowed hard, forcing her eyes away from the object of her every desire. 

“I don’t - I don’t know what you are talking about, Caleb” Yasha responded, lifting the mug and drinking the rest of the (not so) hot chocolate, as a way to hide her reddening face from her friend. 

The wizard simply smiled to himself. 

He held Yasha’s attention for only a few moments longer before blue and purple eyes sought out the source of commotion on the ship once more, tracking the monk’s movement.

“Alright, let’s light ‘em up!” Veth grinned proudly at the selection of fireworks they had strapped to the ship. She turned to Beauregard, one short arm outstretched. “Gimme your tinderbox”

The monk didn’t respond, blue eyes instead fixed upon the figures of two of their friends across the ship. 

“Hey” she kicked Beau gently in the shin. “Tinderbox” she huffed, gesturing her open palm in front of the monk. 

“Huh? Veth, what the fuck, man?!” she snarled as she reached down and rubbed her shin where the halfling had kicked her. 

“ _Oh_ , I’m sorry - did I interrupt you making hearteyes?!” the rogue cackled and Beau instantly rolled her eyes and hoped the darkness of the evening would hide her impending blush. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” she huffed and looked down at Veth’s still outstretched arm. “What the fuck is this? What do you want?”

“Your tinderbox” Veth replied matter of factly. “You know, to light these fireworks” she raised her eyebrows. 

“I uh - I don’t have a tinderbox”

Veth’s brow furrowed. 

“Yes, you do” 

“Nah, I -” she lifted a hand up to brush a stray hair out of her face and back behind her ear. “Must’ve misplaced it or something”

Veth’s eyes narrowed, it was clear she didn’t believe the other woman’s words. 

“Fine” she muttered, turning her attention to Yasha and Caleb. “I guess we can ask Caleb to light them” she shrugged and began to call out to him. “Ca -”

“It’s fine, I got it” Beau interrupted quickly and practically leapt in the direction of the others. 

“Hey, Yasha…”

Beau’s voice caused the barbarian to look up, eyes widening a little in surprise at how the monk was suddenly inches from her. 

“Hello!” she said a little too enthusiastically and she was sure she heard Caleb snigger. 

“Hey…” the monk smiled affectionately, and then averted her eyes, biting her lip. It was hard for Yasha to tell if it was to stop her own laughter or to stop herself from saying something she may regret. 

_Kord_ , she hoped for the latter. 

“D’you uh - you still got that tinderbox?”

“Oh” Yasha swallowed nervously - _why_ the hell was she nervous - and shoved the now empty mug into Caleb’s hands, perhaps a little more forcibly than she had intended, the wizard grunting from the unexpected impact. “Of course” she mumbled and reached into her jacket, searching for the item. 

“Misplaced your own, Beauregard?” Caleb asked with a knowing raise of his eyebrow. 

“Uh yeah, sure…” the monk muttered distractedly, eyes watching Yasha, and Caleb had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Beauregard had definitely not processed his question. 

“Sorry, it’s -” Yasha mumbled as she continued to search her pockets. “I thought I had it in here for sure,” she explained, hand reaching into another pocket.

“No it’s - new coat, right?”

“Yes” Yasha smiled down at Beau. “I have not gotten used t-”

“Looks good,” Beau interrupted. “On you” she clarified. “I mean, not that you don’t look good without it I just - fuck” she muttered as she stumbled over her words like a fool. “What I mean is -”

Caleb was sure he was about to die from secondhand embarrassment. 

“Thank you, Beau” Yasha interrupted, offering a soft smile to the other woman.

“Yeah, you’re welcome uh - yeah” she smiled back but averted her eyes and reached out to awkwardly rub the back of her neck. 

“Tinderbox”

“Huh?”

“You wanted the tinderbox…” Yasha was holding the small box out towards Beau. 

“Oh yeah, dope. Thanks Yash” she smiled and reached out to take it from the other woman. Their fingers brushed and Beau allowed herself that moment to linger and enjoy the warm sensation that flooded through her at the feel of Yasha’s skin against hers.

And when it was finally time to break apart their eyes were locked and it felt as though all the air had gone from the space around them. 

“Hey! Stop being so Slow-regard and let’s Go-regard!” 

Veth’s voice cut through the tension between the two women and any other time Beau would have rolled her eyes at the halfling’s apparent constant need to misuse her name, but now she was too preoccupied. 

“I should uh -” Beau nodded back in the direction of Veth. 

“Oh” Yasha nodded, took a step back and let her hand fall to her side. “Of course”

Beau nodded once more and turned to leave. Yasha let out a soft sigh and leant back against the rail of the ship as she watched Beau return to Veth. 

“You’ve got it bad”

Caleb’s voice broke Yasha from her thoughts once again and she glanced to her friend beside her, choosing to feign ignorance. The wizard chuckled lightly, his eyes landing on Beau as her and Veth began to light the fireworks.

“We are heading into uncharted territories” he continued thoughtfully, “If there’s anything you wish to say, or do, then now is the time…” he commented softly, before glancing at Yasha knowingly. 

Yasha swallowed and forced her gaze away from Beau, to Caleb instead. “When you live with so much regret, how do you move forward?” she asked gently. 

“You are asking the wrong person, mein freund”

Yasha smiled sadly, she knew her and Caleb were a lot alike in the way they tried to live with their past mistakes. 

“But I am hoping to learn from you, Yasha” the wizard continued, causing Yasha’s brow to furrow. “You have found what will make you happy, now you just have to claim it” 

He made it sound so simple and Yasha was grateful for the sudden _whoosh_ of the fireworks ascending. Her eyes lifted from the young monk instead to the skies, watching the first few explosions of bright white and purple that arched down through the skies - reminiscent of lightning. 

Yasha bit her lip, and let her eyes fall back to Beau. The monk was looking at her with a smile and Yasha felt her stomach flip. And then Beau winked and Yasha _knew_ that those fireworks had been for her, and her alone. And that did things to her heart that she was not at all prepared for. 

“What if it’s not mine to have?” she asked Caleb in a whisper as Beau turned back to light more of the fireworks. She still didn’t completely forgive herself for all the wrong she had done, did she really deserve to seek happiness?

“Then think of it as hers?” he shrugs. “Our young Expositor may not show it but she’s just as lonely as the two of us. She’s just as afraid, if not more, of never finding happiness” he began to explain. “You know, Yasha, I think in this respect we are the lucky ones” he glanced up at her, their eyes meeting. “We have known love. We have lost it, yes, but we knew it once”

Yasha nodded, her friend was right. 

“Beauregard has - I don’t think that she had ever felt unconditional love before meeting the Nein” 

Yasha bit her lip, eyes drifting in the direction of Veth and Beau’s laughter. She had suspected as much from the snippets she knew about Beau, but to hear Caleb voice that worry too - well, it made it more real and it made Yasha’s heart ache with the need to put that right. 

“Don’t go into this not knowing how you feel for one another” he pleaded. “Make sure you know what you’re fighting for” 

Yasha sighed softly, thinking of that future she so desperately wanted. A future where she was Beau’s. Where they could be safe, and happy, together and with the Nein. 

The next fireworks flew up into the air, exploding above the ship, but Yasha didn’t see them, her eyes were fixed on the slender frame of the monk, happily watching the smile on her friend’s face, and the way that the light overhead reflected off of her skin. 

“Hey guys, wait for me!”

Jester’s voice called out over the fireworks as she ran across the deck to join the rest of the ‘Chaos Crew’ in setting up more. 

Caleb chuckled lightly and shook his head. “Well, the night is still young. I am going to attempt to do some studying,” he admitted. 

“Good luck with that…” Yasha gestured towards their three friends and Caleb smiled amusedly. 

“Guten nacht, Yasha”

“Goodnight, Caleb”

The wizard reached out and gently squeezed Yasha’s forearm. They had both come a long way in the time they had known one another, and it warmed Yasha’s heart to feel this affection from the man. 

She watched as he bid goodnight to Fjord and Caduceus who were sat crossed legged on the deck, a shrine to the Wildmother set up between them, and then he disappeared below deck. 

Another explosion above caught Yasha’s attention and she looked up at the sky to see a burst of colours which seemed to form the shape of a dragon taking flight through the sky. 

Her mouth opened ever so slightly in surprise at the sight. 

“Fuck, that one was awesome”

The voice made Yasha jump slightly and she looked back down to find that Beau had joined her once more. 

She wanted to ask how it was that Beau could sneak up on her so easily but she already knew the response would be a shrug and _’monk shit’_.

“Hi,” Beau added as her eyes shifted to meet Yasha’s. 

“Hi”

A beat or two of silence passed between them before Beau sidled up to lean against the railing to Yasha’s right. 

“Thought I’d let Jester have some of the fun” Beau answered Yasha’s unspoken question. “Besides, I noticed Caleb abandoned you so I figured maybe you’d appreciate some company”

Yasha smiled softly at Beau’s thoughtfulness. It was no secret that Yasha hated being alone after everything that had happened with Obann. 

“Thank you, Beau”

“Hey it wasn’t completely selfless” the monk grinned up at Yasha, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned back on the railing. “It’s definitely warmer over here beside you” she added and gently nudged Yasha.

Yasha chuckled gently, letting a comfortable silence fall over them once more as the two of them watched Veth and Jester setting off more fireworks, the crew gathering around to watch. 

“This is nice”

Yasha glanced towards Beau who’s eyes were still on the night sky. It _was_ nice. 

“The calm before the storm…” Yasha suggested in return. 

“Heh, yeah it probably is” Beau agreed, tearing her eyes from the fireworks to glance at Yasha. “Fuck knows what Eiselcross has in store for us”

Yasha nodded. None of them really knew what they were getting into, and it was a little scary. But whatever it was she knew they would face it together, like they did everything. 

“Hey Yash?”

“Yes Beau?”

“Thanks for uh - you know, earlier with the giant lobsters…” Beau had unfolded her arms and was gesturing awkwardly to the bow of the ship where they had fought side by side just a few hours before.

“Oh yes, the lobstrocities” Yasha beamed at her own joke and the way it lit up her entire face caused Beau’s breath to catch in her throat. She could feel herself falling even harder, and she desperately hoped a winged angel would be there to catch her. 

“It was - it was no problem, Beau” Yasha’s voice brought Beau out of her thoughts and made her heart flutter in her chest. 

“Sorry I kinda just ditched you there…”

“Oh. Nononononononono - it’s fine, I - you had to get to the others and I - well I -”

“You had it under control?”

“Sure” Yasha nodded. “Sure, it was - it was under control” the barbarian promised, flashing a soft smile in Beau’s direction.

“Yeah”

Silence fell between them once more, and Yasha wondered if she had ever been so comfortable in silence with anyone else. Perhaps Zuala, but Beau the only other. In the monk’s company Yasha never seemed to feel the pressure to be anything but herself, and herself was quiet. Beau didn’t seem to mind that. 

“The way you just sliced through that fucker - it was - pretty fucking awesome” Yasha smiled at that. “ _You’re_ pretty awesome…” Beau added with a little less certainty in her tone, her eyes dropping to the deck beneath her boots, a flush creeping up her face. 

“So are you, Beau” Yasha replied without missing a beat. 

Beau laughed softly, “Yeah I know” she replied jokingly, winking and nudging Yasha gently. 

And when the taller woman nudged her back, a bright smile on her pale face, it gave Beau a boost of confidence.

“I mean it though, Yash” she said softly. “Thanks for - for looking out for me when you were in trouble yourself, you know?” she whispered. “It’s - it wasn’t the first time and I don’t think I’ve ever really told you how much I appreciate it. How much I uh - appreciate you” 

The monk bit her lip, nervously glanced up towards Yasha and took a deep breath before leaning closer to the taller woman, and pressing the softest, lightest kiss to the barbarian’s cheek. 

She wanted to linger but she was overcome with embarrassment and quickly stepped back, returning to her position leaning against the railing by Yasha’s side once more. 

Yasha swallowed nervously and let her head turn just enough that she could glance at the woman beside her, the smallest hint of a smile on her face. “You’re welcome, Beau” she whispered and Beau let out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. 

“Beau!” Jester’s voice broke through the comfortable silence that had fallen between the two friends. “We’re going to light some more, come join us?”

Beau hesitated, almost about to step away from the edge and rejoin her friends on the other side of the deck, but she stopped herself and shook her head. 

“I’m good over here, Jes” she called back. “I’ll watch you guys” Beau’s arms folded across her chest once more and she gently nudged Yasha again, “S’warmer over here anyway” she smiled, heart stuttering at the soft laugh she received in return. 

And so she stayed there. Side by side with the woman that was slowly claiming her heart, feeling as though perhaps something had shifted between them tonight and that now it was just a matter of _when_ not _if_ this dance between them would develop into something more. 

When the fireworks had finally run out the Nein retreated below deck for a well-earned rest.

And if Beau lingered above deck for long enough that by the time she joined her friends there were no remaining bunks, only the space on the floor beside where she knew Yasha would set up her own pillow for the night - well, no one said anything. 

And as she tried to will her freezing body to sleep, muscles tensed as she curled up tightly beneath the too thin blanket, Beau felt a shift beside her and a familiar warmth envelop her body as Yasha’s shrug was carefully placed over her. 

Beau’s heart caught in her throat at the simple action, at the memory - _”I don’t take off my shrug”_. 

Old Beau she would have pretended to be asleep but things had changed. _She_ had changed. 

Now she was trying to open her heart to the possibility of something.

_”You have to put yourself in the place that gives her the moment to make the move”_

She could hear Jester’s advice in the back of her head and so she bit her lip and reached out, catching Yasha’s hand in the darkness and squeezing gently. 

“Thanks, Yasha” she whispered, and the squeeze of her hand in return was enough to tell Beau that it was going to be okay. They were both cautious, but in the end they were going to be okay. 

She was letting Yasha take the lead, and that was okay, because every smile, every little touch, every heartwarming action was beginning to lead towards that possibility of something more. She was ready, and no matter how long Yasha needed she would wait for her. 

The possibility of being enough, of being loved, by someone like Yasha was - well, it was going to be worth everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Made a Tumblr if anyone's interested: @the-invulnerable-vagrant
> 
> (and by 'made' I mean I joined Tumblr...then forgot to actually do anything substantial with my blog so far! XD)


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